Learn how parenting plan mediation works in Omaha and Douglas County. Discover practical tips from Artful Divorce on schedules, holidays, and decision-making.
The Parenting Plan Problem Nobody Warns You About
Most parents walk into divorce thinking: “Just tell me what the schedule is and let me move on.” But in this episode of Artful Divorce, family law attorney John Kinney and mediator Kelly Gering explain why rushing a parenting plan is one of the easiest ways to create years of conflict.
Mediation isn’t just about splitting days on a calendar. It’s about building something durable, sustainable, and child-centered—even when parents are stressed, triggered, and definitely not operating at their best.
“My mindset is always go slow to get fast,” says Kelly Gering. “Because once you get to the ‘why,’ it actually moves much faster—and the plan holds up better in real life.”
1. How Parenting Plan Mediation Works in Omaha
Kelly explains that in Douglas County (Omaha), parents often reach her through a couple main pathways:
- Conciliation Court / Mediation Services (the “4-3 panel”) after a case is filed
- Attorney referrals from Douglas, Sarpy, Washington, Dodge, and beyond
- Parents may come early in the process to draft a parenting plan before conflict escalates
Her intake starts with separate, private sessions—which can make parents suspicious at first.
John notes many clients ask: “Why are we meeting alone? Why can’t we just jump in together?”
Kelly’s answer is blunt and smart: because mediators are screening for power dynamics, safety concerns, and psychological overwhelm before putting two stressed-out people in a room and hoping for the best.
2. Mediation Is Not “Meditate”—It’s Problem-Solving
A big theme of the episode: most people have never been through mediation, so they’re nervous, rushed, and scared of losing time with their kids.
Kelly breaks it down simply:
- Parents are the experts on their children
- Attorneys advocate for legal rights and protections
- The mediator serves as a neutral bridge so parents can communicate and solve problems
Mediation aims to produce a 10–20 page parenting plan with guardrails around schedules, holidays, communication, and decision-making—so parents aren’t constantly re-litigating their lives.
3. “Go Slow to Get Fast”: Why the Intake Matters
Kelly’s approach is built on the idea that parents can’t access good decision-making until they feel heard. She calls it honoring the past to create context—but keeping the focus forward. A parenting plan isn’t just for today. It has to work when:
- emotions cool down
- kids age into new stages
- schedules change
- new partners enter the picture
- life gets complicated (because it will)
That’s why she spends time digging into the why behind the what. When a parent says “I want 50/50,” she asks: “What does that mean to you—really?”
4. What Mediators Do When Someone Shuts Down or Bullies
Two situations come up a lot in high-conflict mediation:
Conflict fatigue: one parent is so exhausted they’ll agree to anything just to end it.
Kelly’s response: she stops the session, caucuses privately, and may pause or end mediation to prevent harmful decisions.
Power/control dynamics: one parent dominates, manipulates, or triggers the other.
Again: she stops it, creates structure, and if needed switches to separate-room mediation (“shuttle diplomacy”) so nobody gets steamrolled.
“I’m never going to create a space where you can harm someone else,” Kelly says. “Not here.”
5. Common Parenting Schedules Today (and Why Routine Matters)
John and Kelly talk about how parenting schedules have evolved over the last 20 years. The “every other weekend dad” model is fading, with courts and families increasingly expecting substantial time with both parents, unless there’s a reason not to. They discuss three common shared parenting schedules:
- Week on / week off (often for older kids/teens)
- 5-5-2-2 (“5522”) consistent weekdays + alternating weekends
- 2-2-3 (“223”) more transitions, often for younger kids needing frequent touchpoints
Kelly emphasizes transitions at school/daycare help reduce conflict.
And she’s clear: kids thrive when there’s predictability. Too many exceptions, swaps, and “special rules” create confusion—and conflict.
6. Holidays: Make Them “Chunky,” Not Chaotic
Holidays are emotionally loaded, especially the first year.
Kelly encourages parents to create protected holiday definitions as a worst-case fallback—so holidays don’t become bargaining chips later.
Her main advice:
- Don’t split holiday days into rushed handoffs
- Avoid nighttime transitions (New Year’s, Fourth of July)
- Build “chunkier,” more meaningful time blocks so kids can actually enjoy the holiday
She also highlights a blind spot: parents may plan to do holidays together…until new partners enter the picture. That’s often when families end up back in mediation.
7. Joint Legal Custody: The “Yes/No” Trap
Joint legal custody works—until parents hit a major decision they can’t agree on.
The episode uses common examples like:
- ADHD evaluation and medication
- vaccinations
- school plans and IEPs
Kelly’s approach: bring in outside professionals (teachers, pediatricians, therapists) and ideally agree to follow a trusted provider’s recommendations.
She also discusses practical “guardrails” like:
- response-time rules (e.g., reply within 72 hours)
- “two-stop” pauses to prevent emotional decision-making
- returning to mediation before court whenever possible
The Big Takeaway: Mediation Keeps Parents in Control
Both John and Kelly hammer this point: Court is a blunt instrument. Mediation is a sharp tool.
Judges are overwhelmed and can’t examine the details the way mediators can. When parents hand decisions to the court, they lose control—and often leave exhausted and disappointed.
Mediation isn’t about “winning.” It’s about designing a workable co-parenting business partnership focused on raising healthy kids.
Thanks for joining Artful Divorce. If today’s episode was helpful, visit www.ArtfulDivorce.com.
Disclaimer: This blog summarizes general information discussed on the Artful Divorce podcast and is not legal advice. For advice specific to your situation, consult a qualified attorney licensed in your area.
Artful Divorce Podcast
The Artful Divorce Podcast is hosted by family law attorney John Kinney, based in Omaha, Nebraska. Each episode offers practical insights to help you navigate the divorce process with greater clarity. Whether you’re just beginning or deep in separation process, we’re here to help you move forward, thoughtfully and informed. This content is for general informational purposes and is not legal advice. For guidance specific to your situation, consult a licensed attorney in your area.