“The more a client works on their own case, the better result they usually get.” — John Kinney
Key Takeaways:
- Divorce starts with mindset—avoid impulsive choices that come back to haunt you.
- Stay focused on the big picture, not every emotional skirmish.
- Evidence matters more than words: do the work to gather documentation.
- Protect your kids, your assets, and your peace of mind by planning ahead.
- Choose an attorney who fits your personality, not just your perception.
Starting Divorce on the Right Foot
When people walk into my office for the first time, they’re usually overwhelmed. Divorce isn’t just a legal process—it’s emotional, financial, and deeply personal. Over the years, I’ve found that giving clients a simple “Top 10 List” helps bring some order to the chaos. Think of it as a roadmap: the things you need to prioritize at the beginning so you don’t make mistakes that will cost you later.
Get Your Mind Right & Stay Focused
The first thing I tell my clients is this: get your mind right. Divorce has a way of pulling out our worst instincts—sending late-night angry texts, oversharing on social media, leaning on unhealthy coping mechanisms. The problem is, every one of those things can end up as evidence in court. Instead, lean on your support system—friends, family, or a therapist. Stay grounded. The second piece is focus. Don’t get lost in the weeds over tiny details that won’t matter six months from now. My job is often protecting clients from decisions they’ll regret in two years.
Do the Work & Protect What Matters
Another truth: the clients who do the work get the best outcomes. It’s not enough to tell me you were the primary caregiver—you need school records, pediatric notes, or daycare logs to prove it. Evidence wins cases. At the same time, protect what matters. Children need extra attention and stability during this process, so keep close tabs on their emotional well-being. Secure liquid assets before they disappear, and don’t overlook sentimental items. You’d be surprised how often a divorce bogs down not over bank accounts, but over Christmas ornaments made in grade school.
Choosing Counsel & Planning Ahead
Finally, be intentional about your team. The “right lawyer” isn’t just the one with the best reputation; it’s the one who communicates well with you and matches your needs. Don’t be afraid to interview more than one before deciding. And don’t forget the practical piece: housing. If there’s a chance you’ll be leaving the marital home, start thinking now about where you’ll live and how you’ll cover expenses. A little planning on the front end saves a lot of stress down the line.
Artful Divorce Podcast
The Artful Divorce Podcast is hosted by family law attorney John Kinney, based in Omaha, Nebraska. Each episode offers practical insights to help you navigate the divorce process with greater clarity. Whether you’re just beginning or deep in separation process, we’re here to help you move forward, thoughtfully and informed. This content is for general informational purposes and is not legal advice. For guidance specific to your situation, consult a licensed attorney in your area.