“Kids are little investigators — they see and hear more than you think.” — Sarah Batter
Key Takeaways:
- Speaking negatively about your ex harms your child’s mental health.
- Even subtle digs — eye rolls, sarcasm, or phone labels — send powerful messages.
- Children crave stability and connection with both parents.
- Always be mindful of when and where you discuss adult issues.
- Your words shape how safe and loved your children feel during divorce.
Avoid These Common Parenting Mistakes During Divorce
Divorce is never easy, especially when children are involved. In this episode of The Artful Divorce, I sit down with Omaha family therapist Sarah Batter to discuss the subtle — and not-so-subtle — mistakes parents make when emotions run high. From speaking negatively about the other parent to letting “little ears” overhear adult conversations, we explore how even small moments can leave a lasting emotional impact on kids.
The Damage of Negative Talk
One of the biggest mistakes divorcing parents make is speaking poorly about each other in front of their children. As Sarah explains, kids naturally want to love and connect with both parents. When they hear mom or dad being torn down, it forces them into an emotional tug-of-war they never asked for. It creates confusion, anxiety, and sometimes even depression. Divorce already turns a child’s world upside down — adding negativity to the mix just deepens the chaos.
Subtle Jabs Still Count
From my perspective as a family law attorney, I’ve learned that few parents think they’re doing this. Everyone insists, “I never say anything bad about the other parent.” Yet the evidence tells a different story. Maybe you’ve labeled your ex as “Satan” in your phone or rolled your eyes when their name comes up. Those micro-behaviors may seem harmless, but to a child, they speak volumes. As Sarah says, “Kids are little investigators.” They notice everything — tone, body language, side comments. If they sense hostility, they’ll internalize it.
Guarding Little Ears
The solution starts with awareness. Sarah recommends parents stay conscious of their surroundings — especially when emotions rise, or a glass of wine lowers your filter. Kids often listen from the hallway, pretending not to. Protecting their emotional space is as critical as providing a stable home. That means saving venting sessions for therapy, friends, or a co-parenting counselor — never within earshot of the children. Divorce may end a marriage, but your words can either build or break your child’s sense of safety.
Artful Divorce Podcast
The Artful Divorce Podcast is hosted by family law attorney John Kinney, based in Omaha, Nebraska. Each episode offers practical insights to help you navigate the divorce process with greater clarity. Whether you’re just beginning or deep in separation process, we’re here to help you move forward, thoughtfully and informed. This content is for general informational purposes and is not legal advice. For guidance specific to your situation, consult a licensed attorney in your area.